This reform would affect about 500,000 transportation workers, parliamentarians, and ballet dancers (the crux of French society), who are currently allowed to retire with full pension 20 years earlier than everyone else, costing everyone else a nice $9 billion a year.
Transportation strikes were crippling the country: people were sleeping in the office and the streets nearly saw riots. You'd think cigarette factories and poodle groomers were striking. Unions finally cried oncle, the strikes ended today, and ballet dancers got to see who's boss.
Peace: out. If there were a progress report for being fucked, then Lebanon would be Exceeding Expectations.
Having attained close to a political rock bottom, Beirut ambitiously pulls out the pickaxe as its president, Emile Lahoud uh, quits. Without naming a successor.
He really, actually, just picked up and left, absentmindedly asking the army to make sure the kids behave. No need to worry about the anti-Syrian radicals, everyone. Dinner's in the microwave and here's a number to call if anything...no, scratch that. Enjoy your dinner (marinated regional crisis).
Worst. President. Ever.
President Musharraf (giving Lahoud a run for his money) declared a state of emergency.
The Commonwealth didn't like it and disowned Pakistan. Pakistan got pissed and is now giving its President a week to quit his other day job, as chief of the army. And it's really about time. I admit to taking any excuse to wear camo, but this is taking it a bit too far.
This isn't like Blockbuster and Burger King; you can't work two jobs like that. It's the presidency of Pakistan...okay, so maybe like Blockbuster and The Olive Garden. But still, it's nice to see at least one of the countries in the Axis of Screwing Ourselves into the Dirt enforce some discipline in its president (it's the only way he'll learn!).
Although it's a bit surprising that years of international rebuke did nothing to rile up the Pakistanis, until they were disallowed from prancing around at the Commonwealth games. I would've taken that as a sign of moving in a positive direction; Commonwealth games are lame.
However, Musharraf does have some friends in the Supreme Court. They've ordered the Election Commission to declare him the official winner of October's presidential election (remind you of another country?). God Bless Democracy, Middle Eastern style.
Lessons in the News
- Pain is temporary. Turning bionic is forever.
- Pain is temporary. Getting just a little bit more attention for something even lamer than what you originally got kind of famous for...is also temporary. Sorry.
- Writing a diary can save a life! (Well for one tree, not for, you know...millions of people.)
Fun Fact
Bulldogs' heads are so large in proportion to their bodies that they usually have to be born through Caesarean sections or they might get stuck in the birth canal. Some bitches whelp fine (I actually think that's a Snoop Dogg lyric) on their own, but the species as a whole is probably pretty dependent on humans for their survival, which is frightening considering how humans raise their children. Sorry, I meant...humans raise their children.
Because of the funky shape of their heads and faces, bulldogs require daily cleaning of their face folds to prevent infections, and they are also chronic snorers. Overall, owning a bulldog is probably pretty similar to being married to Fred Thompson.
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